teeth hurt.
February 12, 2009
now i’m really getting into using this thing – it’s a nice way to get out emotions and thoughts.
the funeral is saturday. valentines day. kind of bums me out, but that just makes me feel selfish and wrong for being upset that now my saturday with jon is ruined – i shouldn’t be thinking that way. i didn’t cry today. i smiled and laughed like normal. certain aspects are still haunting my thoughts but as i explained to bobby last night – i’ve accepted it and i’ve begun to move on. there are just things in life that you can not control – you just have to roll with the punches. but no matter…
so basically i’ll have one day with jon this weekend, after not seeing him for three weeks. and who knows when i will see him next. it’s beginning to create a disconnect with us – or at least i feel like he’s lost some interest in me…but maybe i’m once again just looking too far into things and creating something out of nothing. but i feel like his language through text is even lacking and just plain different. i want him to tell me how much he misses me and loves me and just flirt with me all night. communication is THE KEY when it comes to long distance relationships and i just feel like i’m making all the effort to create conversation or say cute things. but things just seem so serious and stiff with him. i’m hoping this is just a phase, i’m willing to do anything to help him unstress and relax because i do know he is overwhelmed right now. just sucks that in the mean time i have to feel neglected on some level.
